Tuesday, July 13, 2010

"I wanted to be anyone else.. Only to find that there was no one there but me..."3 Doors Down- The Real Life

I've been an incredible slacker lately with the bloggage. I apologize. I suppose I shall now introduce you to the darker side of me. Let's call her hizzle. Because that nickname just sounds suitable.

Some days, the days when hizzle takes over, I'm relatively uninterested in everything around me. I have no motivation to do everyday things like cook supper, straighten my home, exercise, eat right, and even wake up. She causes me to not care about furthering my education, or even maintaining a professional image at work. This, of course, includes blogging.

How long this phase lasts varies every time it happens. Sometimes it only lasts a day, sometimes it lasts a month. You can only imagine what the condition of my home (not to mention the relationship with my husband) is after that long period of neglect.

I distance myself from others. I have not met too many people I can trust, and the "friends" I thought I had end up leaving me at one point or another. I suppose they give up or lose faith in me. I just want to find someone who doesn't run, who takes the time to get to know me and someone who loves me. I've got Steven, but girls need friends.

Thats part of why I have started seeing a therapist. I have some anger issues also that I would like to resolve, and some unspeakable demons in my mind that I must be rid of.

But everyone has these issues right? Surely not everyone is happy all the time.. and others struggle to fight the darkness in the depths of their mind? Please tell me it's not just me!


  1. Aww.. HUGGS We all have a hizzle, just don't let her stick around too long :)

  2. I agree with Dani...we all have a hizzle. I hope things get a little brighter for you. Time heals all wounds...

  3. Just keep getting it out girl and stay strong!

    Going to therapy is the first step to moving forward from your demons!

    Everyone has these days. Consistent happiness is for freaks.

    Good luck and feel better!

  4. Thanks ladies... it means a lot to have support from you all! This is something I struggle with so much, I wish I could just beat it and make it go away!!